Mr. Clean is my Lex Luthor...

I did not inherit a cleaning gene from anyone. Possibly because it is missing in our genetic code - is it the Swedish side? I don't know. But I am not a naturally creative cleaner. I can see a product and think, "Hey, that sounds good" but it doesn't actually work like it does on the commercials. It must be partially operator error.

I remember how shattered I was when I found out those Scrubbing Bubbles guys didn't actually come out of the bottle. *&@#% Fraudulent advertising. Because I still had to do all the scrubbing - and there were no sparkles residing in my tub. Just the dull gummy ring to scrub over and over and over and over... well you get the picture.

I was mildly interested in the whole organic thing - vinegar, baking soda, club soda, etc. But that requires a major chart of where to use what. Again, the genetics conspire against me.

I will say that I have found my secret weapon. Microfiber. I don't know how it works - but I spent maybe 15 minutes on my glass shower walls last night - and they, dare I say, sparkled. We have hard water, so that's no small accomplishment.

I *heart* microfiber! If I have another child, I would seriously consider naming them Microfiber. Well, at least as a middle name. Jehosophat Microfiber Campbell. Has a certain ring to it, don't ya think?